D’AWW look at the baby. Yo, Frenchie… Get over here so I can *boop* you!
I love these little munchies! They’re called French Bulldogs, and were created in the 1860’s by English lace workers who crossbred ratters and English Bulldogs. Their intent was to make the companionship of a bulldog more conveniently sized for dense urban living. Remember, this is the era where dog breeding became a “lady’s sport”, as a result, you start seeing people breeding for superficial features (i.e. Boston Terriers, etc).
Well, it’s all in the recipe, isn’t it? Drank your drank.
If one were to imagine ratters of yesteryear, you can guarantee that they have a HIGH prey drive, strong drive to continuously pursue their target, and have lots of energy.
Ok, so let’s smash that together with a Bulldog. It’s hard to say what exactly happened with English Bulldogs historically. We see references to them as far back as the 1500’s. But are they referring to a breed? Or perhaps a dog that they deemed appropriate for bull baiting? Bull baiting hit its peak in the early 1800’s but was outlawed in 1835 [ASIDE] this practice is fucked beyond all measure, we’ll have to cover it another time [/ASIDE]. People tried to get them to start fighting each other; luckily, their dog-to-dog aggression didn’t make them great dog fighters. Now a dog without a cause, the breed’s popularity plummeted. By all rights, the breed should have gone extinct, however it had gained many ardent admirers.
Big change in 100 years! They’re great looking, functional dogs, but they are already well on their way towards the adorable broken meatlumps of today. In the 1800’s bulldogs were bred for high drive, high pain tolerance, and never standing down in a fight.
TADA, the French Bulldog comes out a real champ as the happy medium! He’s a big dog in a little dog suit. With a tempered energy level and behavioral intensity, he has a winning, clownish personality. Frenchie thinks he’s hot shit…
Oh Frenchie, you are so fly. I want to hug that minibeast until it’s eyeballs pop. But, why’s the puppy on it’s back? Does that dog’s scientific classification put him in the Testudines class? He sure don’t LOOK like no turtle. So why you gotta play him like one? Shiiiit – turtles have built-in defense mechanisms for when they’re flipped over! But our friend TurtleDog™, he uhhhh… he can’t seem to get it. Heh, hey… good thing there’s a loving owner there to flip that baby over, right? OMG, the video cuts out before I find out, someone tell me he’s ok! Everyone knows that these dogs can barely breathe while standing, let alone at such a young age with their worlds all flipped-turned upside down. Right?! Everyone knows that?! You can hear the puppy uncomfortably groaning at the end, OH NO! HALP. Goddamn it, THIS is why we can’t have nice things! Frenchie don’t play like that. Bitch, do I look like a turtle?
Here’s an idea, I’ll hold your fresh-out-the-womb baby over the edge of a balcony just for funsies. WEEEE – Oh, you mean some deranged mental patient already did that?
I’m sure that went over just fine.
[ASIDE] We all love to torture our animals in small ways. Putting a blanket over their heads, hiding their toys, dressing them up, holding them like babies, it’s fun! For me, the distinction is when a person understands that the animal is uncomfortable, but can respect that they’re tolerant of the behavior. On the other hand, a person could have zero care that the animal is uncomfortable, so long as they get their way and snap a shitty picture/video. [/ASIDE]
Unfortunately, French Bulldogs did not come without the English Bulldog’s many, many health issues. To begin with, our nomenclature already tells you you’re in seriously deep trouble. This breed falls into a category of dogs that are described as “chondrodystrophoid breeds”. It basically describes them as a set group of dogs that are supposed to, according to breed standards, experience dwarfism (Dachshunds, Corgis, etc). Don’t get me wrong on this, dwarfism is fine and occurs naturally ALL of the time. But this is wide-scale, systemic dwarfism – meaning that there is simply not enough genetic diversity to get healthy, non stunted growth in their limbs. In humans, dwarfism comes with susceptibility to a host of associated conditions. In dogs, you will most commonly see this group of dogs affected by intervertebral disk disease. “According to the Canine Inherited Disease Database, disc herniation occurs at a relatively young age (3 to 6 years) in affected breeds” (read full .pdf).
Butt weight, there’s more! Over 80% of Frenchies, much like their Bulldog father-cousins, can only have assisted-births — That’s right, cesarean section for dogs. They’re very prone to several skin issues including allergies, as well as Von Willebrand’s Disease, which means their blood can’t clot well. There are a lot I’m choosing to skip, but then there’s the breathing problems…
Their smashed skulls cause their nostrils and windpipe to be too small for sufficient airflow. Because of an elongated soft palate, hyperventilation and hot temperatures can result in swollen tissue in the throat which constricts airways even more. Needless to say, breathing takes a lot of work for these poor dogs.
When too much excitement on a warm day can easily send these meatballs straight into the throes of heat stroke, it got me thinking! I have a theory that these bulldog-type dogs are so “mellow” because they’ve been forced to self-condition. For example, a dog may learn to practice avoidance techniques with other dogs because whenever he’s interacted with other dogs in the past, they start to play A LOT. When the play is this intense, the feeling of shortness of breath can become overwhelming and cause high levels of stress. As we saw above, there are some high energy and drive traits in this breed. If they can’t breathe and expel their mental energy somehow, their frustrations can manifest themselves as anxiety and behavioral issues.
These dogs really can’t catch a break. French Bulldogs are one of the most susceptible to pulmonic stenosis (low out-flow of blood from the heart). Because of this disease, oxygenating tissue is more difficult. These underlying factors can cause the dog to be lethargic, weak, and exercise intolerant. Pulmonic stenosis is an inherited heart disease which is the cause of heart failure in many Frenchies. Want to have it treated? NO PROBLEM. Balloon valvuloplasty is a (potentially) corrective surgery that can cost you between $5,000 – $10,000. Drug therapy is much more cost efficient, unfortunately, the cost of diagnosis can be impossible for some. Echocardiograms may cost as much as $500-$600 while angiograms may cost $500-$1,000 or more.
So you spent $3,000 on this delectable morsel of puppy only to have it completely fall apart. Somebody call GM, and ask them what happened when people realized they’ve been hoodwinked into buying your shitty product.
By the way… That puppy lived! Check it out.
Chai the Japanese Frenchie is now 5 years old, the previous video was from 2009. This Japanese family is bonkers about their dogs. Unfortunately, they haven’t had the best of luck. Sadly, Chai’s mother, Flour died this year at the age of 6 due to complications from aspiration pneumonia. Another victim of the narrow airway and soft palate. Chai hasn’t had it easy either. In the video, he seems like a very happy, well cared for dog and he plays appropriately with his kitty pal. But superficially speaking, we already have some big concerns. At rest, he can be heard choking on his soft palate with close to ZERO physical exertion or heat, you can see this in ALL of their videos. The airways of both dogs are severely impaired. If you look at Chai’s paws, there are brown saliva stains which indicate overgrooming on his paws; these stains are associated with a number of conditions. This year alone, he survived bloat (incredibly deadly stomach torsion), and soon after Flour died, he had soft palate reduction surgery to improve his breathing. Keep in mind this dog is 5 years old! Genetically speaking, we’re not talking the cream of the crop. Well, I got some news for you… These folks bred French Bulldogs! I’m happy to report that they gave it up this year and had Chai neutered during his soft palate surgery (I guess Flour’s death had a huge impact on the owners). They haven’t posted anything since July 2014, I wonder where he is now.
It’s great these folks made the right decision, but so many people are driven by the demand for these dogs and will continue to breed regardless. Ain’t that some shit?
Tell me your experience!
What do you think of selective breeding for behavioral/purpose-driven traits rather than superficial features?
*boop* *boop*
CuteCrunch 
Maybe humans should work harder on improving themselves rather than messing with animals’ genetic makeup.