FEELIN’ FUNKEH – Anxiety and Esteem

I’m having one of those days where I feel like a bump on the log. I’m tired. I exercised and had a strange sleep thanks to my own immune system trying to kill me from the inside out. Springtime means allergies. Allergies mean red, itchy eyes.

I often find myself thinking that the only solution is popping my eyeballs out with a spoon and giving them a good scrub in the sink. The problem with that is that Johnson & Johnson’s no-tear solution is total horse shite and it burns worse than that time I peed lava after an intense, but sensual encounter with a Thai girlyman.

But I digress. I know that I’ve gotta kick my ass in gear. I’ve got learning to do!

On that subject, I’ve been living in this world… ehhhh maybe not world. Mindspace? Whatever dude, from my perspective, I’ve always assumed that everyone else is smarter or knows more than I do on something. Or whatever skills I do have, that others have them too and do it better. I don’t need to be the best at everything/anything. But I’ve been shat on my whole life. Don’t take this as a rhapsody of the trials and tribulations of being me. “Oh boohoo poor me, nothing good happens to me,” it’s simply not like that.

It’s an experience anxious people like myself go through. They should call me the million dollar girl, because I’ve had to deconstruct myself only to completely rebuild my mental landscape. I grew up with the kids that were taught “everyone is special”. This mindset eventually developed into the cobweb of fuckery that teaches kids that everybody wins.

Your mileage may vary, however from my experience, it created egotistical people. People that would shit on everyone around them for not being the best. It’s strange for me because this set of values drive me to find “the best” products and methods. But it also taught me to shit on others’ ideas, opinions, business etc… Then again I only did that because I experienced the same day after day. It’s my fault for being too weak to identify bullies, but when you’re a kid that kind of information isn’t profoundly obvious. At the end of the day, I allowed the people around me to influence my choices and desires to reflect their own agenda. I stopped pursuing things because I saw others do better or thought that I can’t possibly do what they do. But I have skills, knowledge, and a sense of humor that makes me ME. And it is inherently valuable.

Maybe this is why it’s important to get out of your comfort zone. You realize that yeah, the world IS small, but it’s also incredibly diverse. Everyone has a place, don’t stop, keep pushing yourself, and have FUN with what you do.

Good luck and thanks for your kind words!

Art of KONG Stuffing

Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons

I really like video games, but my big problem is that I never finish them. They’re always really long, complicated, or otherwise too involved. People like me that work or have other priorities may want to play a video game, but it’s hard to want to when you know you’ll never finish it! It’s like watching the first 20 minutes of a good movie then giving up.

Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons on the other hand is about 2-3 hours long. That’s it! This game is an absolutely gorgeous. It has great gameplay, beautiful visuals, and has a great story line that makes you feel things. The game also introduces a unique control scheme that really messes with your head. The controls are a little weird at first, but allows for a whole new world of puzzles and adventure!

I highly suggest you give it a try!

CuteCrunch: A philosophy and attempt to reframe thought

I’m a huge movie fan and one of my teenage favorites was “Men In Black”. Tommy Lee Jones as Agent K has one of my all time favorite lines when he explains to Agent J that his righteous indignation over keeping alien life a secret is wrong.

“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.”

CuteCrunch is stupid. But so are people. Humans are creatures that obsess over the ritualization and habitualization of everything. We find our minds going to the same place repeatedly or relying on comfortable, happy ideas.

1. “I’m going to the bathroom, gotta make sure I have my phone”
2. “I’ve checked my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Gotta marathon something on Netflix”
3. “I’ve had a chaotic day, I need a smoke and a stiff drinky-poo”

These are habits and rituals we all engage in, myself included. And that’s okay. Really, it’s normal and healthy. We react to an event and blanket those feelings with something familiar and comfortable. Behind each of the statements above, there’s something more subversive happening… And THAT piques my interest. In sample 1, you see we’re tethered to a device even when we pee. A device that was marketed to us by companies that convinced us it was necessary. All while its basic function is to funnel advertising and brands into our brains. Smart phones have allowed us intimate and constant access to social networks (sample 2), which have become so prolific that now those seem like an essential part of our routines as well. And in sample 3, we simply can’t cope with our realities so we dull the experience with our favorite vices. Without a doubt, these products were marketed to you as well. And going outside of your smoke and drink choice is uncomfortable… But sharing a photo of your fancy drink on Instagram will make you feel like you’ve done your part to engage with your network.

Let’s take the concept of cuteness. It’s something many people count on after yet another day on the job, another day being single, another day of drama, etc. It brings us joy and I love everything about it! The reason I started CuteCrunch was to break up these psychological habits; crunch them up if you will. Crunching is an attempt to break the cyclical nature of our thoughts and behavior, to bring critical consideration to the concepts and ideas we’re complacent with, to explore the ugly side of what we garner joy from. The word “snob” has been spit in my face repeatedly. But I don’t care because to think critically about something does not elevate you above the experience, it allows for conscious consumption of the world around you.

The truth is that this practice is exhausting for anyone to do. I know, I do it a lot. Like. A LOT A LOT. But it’s worth it, and I want to share it with you. I find it exciting to know the dirty details behind something. Conversely, I find it even more bizarre and often shocking to see how people capitalize on these things despite clearly questionable ethics. An example would include Paris Hilton’s TINY ASS dogs. Did you know they come from a Korean puppy mill? Does no one care that people are manipulating real lives into a package so small that its systems can barely function and essentially turning a companion into something disposable… All for the low price of 25,000 dollars?

So why does it matter? At the end of the day, the magical and often unknown “they” are distancing us from sincere communication and experience. They’re trying to replace it entirely with ads that make us feel good with no call to action. Someone’s tailored Facebook life has never made me feel better about my situation. No one’s Snapchat “make someone smile” campaign has ever changed anything for me. Talking to my friends and family, their support, and perspective has always been my saving grace.

CuteCrunch is an exercise for you and I to try to understand and deconstruct this insane world. I want to share my findings with you, but I also want to know your interests so we can learn together! Unfortunately, I’m not a great writer as you can clearly tell. I’ve always been a visual artist. So I’m at this uncomfortable crossroad where I have to focus on where to create, how, and for whom. One of my many problems is, I don’t think anyone likes to come out of their bubble, no one wants to be wrong, or make a mistake.

If you like what you’ve seen on the site, please share! You may also enjoy my work on YouTube (it’s new). Feel free to engage with me on your preferred social network (I’m in love with snapchat right now), I would love to get to know you and discuss.

Thank you for your support!

Stay smart!! Consume consciously.

Mo

Nice try Nature, Disney did it first

Yo, Woody.. do a barrell roll! Fuckin’ noob.

Not Safe for PETA or Pigs (NSFP)

WE’RE IN PIG TROUBLE

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It’s hard to believe that an adorable little piglet like this can be related to something that many consider an intolerable nuisance. Wild boars are a dangerous and destructive exotic invasive that is taking over America’s South. This little piggy’s skipping down the sidewalk, holding hands with atherosclerosis and obesity like they don’t even give a damn.

Boars have a habit of digging and rooting around in the ground. As a result, they tear up gardens and crop fields, and create holes in roads that serve as hazards for cars and tractors. Additionally, Boars sport razor-sharp tusks and can be aggressive toward people and pets. I know this personally, because my mother still sports the scars from a boar’s tusks on her thigh. They have a remarkable knack for causing trouble, ranging from eating threatened species like dune lizards, spreading invasive weeds, to carrying and transmitting more than 30 different kinds of diseases to humans, livestock and other wildlife.

These freaks LOVE to party, and according to an Associated Press report, their wild raves cause an estimated $1.5 billion in damages annually!!

MULTIPLYING HOGS

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That’ll do pig(s)

Landowners of hog-rich communities have had enough. Of all of the Southern states, Texas has the worst feral hog problem. Considering 78% of Texan landmass has a wild boar population, that’s a whole lot of people affected. Texas A&M has poured a lot of energy into research, education, and creating coping plans for those managing and living with their local population. In a 2012 study published by the university, it is estimated that despite population management techniques currently in use, feral hog populations will continue to rise at an average rate of 21%. In order to stabilize the boars’ numbers in the wild, population harvest must increase to around 66% annually (refer to Table 2).

TO HUNT or TO TRAP

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There are landowners that hold hundreds if not thousands of acres of land. The smart business man with a feral hog problem can capitalize on this by drawing in the “executive” hunters. However, not many landowners are fortunate enough to be able to afford this option. With limited resources, one quickly understands how it’s so easy to become overwhelmed by their pig problem.

Hogs cost landowners a lot in property damage, however they can make them money as well. Trapping is the preferred method of wild boar elimination because there are many meat processors that will buy captured critters. Generally, this meat is rendered into animal products such as limited ingredient specialty dog foods.

Some folks have gotten pretty inventive in addressing their overpopulation problems. Let’s explore some options! (WARNING: you may not like this, procede with caution).

Box Trap

This is how you end up in Uncle Touchy’s naked puzzle basement…

Circular Spring Panel Trap

The least effective type of trap, hogs are incredibly intelligent and do not like to go into an enclosure. Though humans LOVE corn mazes.

BoarBuster

Do wild boar have Spidey Sense? They almost got out! The BoarBuster is an incredibly advanced trap. This trap has a motion sensor that notifies you on your smartphone when there is activity in the trap. You’re able to monitor what exactly is in the trap via camera and then you activate it with the touch of a button. Traps don’t need to be this high end, they just need to work.

Corral Traps

 One panel serves as a one-way door into the large enclosure. The larger open spaces, allows for less trap shyness. Sam’s Club has found this to be one of the most effective methods for humans and has been using it for years.

Drop-nets

The most effective hog trapping method. Can ensnare an entire sounder (herd of wild boar).

Hunting Dogs

Feral pigs are such a huge problem, many states do not require a hunting license whatsoever. Hunting for wild boar is a great option for those that focus on the sport of hunting, however it is certainly not for the faint of heart. When dogs become involved, you cannot shoot the hog to put it out of it’s misery because animals are unpredictable and you may end up shooting your own dog. Because of this, you’ll see a lot of really big knives involved. Catahoula Leopard Dogs are revered hog hunting dogs. They are fearless and relentless in their drive to reach their goal. When you’re up against a 400 pound beast, those are admirable qualities. You’ll often see the serious sportsman with dogs outfitted in “boar bibs” and kevlar vests. Both of these items prevent your dogs from being turned to Swiss cheese.

Aerial Hunting

These guys chose to use automatic weapons… you know… because Texas. Folks that want to experience this kind of hunting can rent a helicopter out for about $500-$600 an hour. This type of hunting eliminates the greatest number of wild pigs, however it is very expensive. Really, without a heads up display, it can’t be that much fun.

Last… and certainly most ridiculously…

TANNERITE

I’m not sure I would call this hunting. But it’s definitely an effective way to remove anything unwanted from all of the things. According to Texas law, this is totally legal. In fact, when it comes to wild boar, Texas says to use ANY means necessary to eliminate the boar from your property.

BOOM!

Leonard Nimoy passes at age 83

RIP to a legend

Leonard Nimoy of Star Trek passed away, as reported by the New York Times.

Last year Nimoy revealed that he was diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and was hospitalized due to severe chest pains last week.

People across this planet have celebrated Leonard Nimoy. Even those who were too scared to watch Star Trek, like me, love him for his many roles and voice over projects. Did you know that he loved animals?

In an interview with Michele Jacques in 1970, Nimoy talked about the pet store he opened in 1969.

… with all the kinds of animals available that he often wished he see in other shops he frequented. So now Leonard Nimoy’s Pet Pad,” which is located in Canoga Park in the San Fernando Valley, stocks chipmunks, monkies, crocodiles, boa constrictors, a South American Otter and, of course, cats and dogs, just to mention a few. But the cats and dogs are not just the ordinary variety we find anywhere. They are all sorts of exotic and rare types. Leonard also has a tortoise which runs free in his backyard, His children love it, and take excellent care of it. Probably better care than they would of any “ordinary” animal.

Was I the only person that was too scared to watch Star Trek? My brother scared me half to death every time we watched it. Damn it. I’m gonna go watch Star Trek in the bathtub now.

Rest in peace, Mr. Nimoy.
I have been and always shall be your friend

An Extra Dash of Fuckery

So I had a lot of extra footage from our first shoot, some of it was too good to let go. I had so much fun making this video.

You can tell in the video that I’m incredibly tired, particularly my stuttering of dumb words. Speed Dating woke me up though! It was impossible to read and it moved WAY TOO fast.

If you like this video, please share it with a video game nerd you love.

Thank you for watching and for your continued support.

Urban Medical Practice

Oh thank goodness we’re in good hands

Happy Valentine’s Day

Well we survived the bubbly seething cauldron of girl-hell.