I’m having one of those days where I feel like a bump on the log. I’m tired. I exercised and had a strange sleep thanks to my own immune system trying to kill me from the inside out. Springtime means allergies. Allergies mean red, itchy eyes.
I often find myself thinking that the only solution is popping my eyeballs out with a spoon and giving them a good scrub in the sink. The problem with that is that Johnson & Johnson’s no-tear solution is total horse shite and it burns worse than that time I peed lava after an intense, but sensual encounter with a Thai girlyman.
But I digress. I know that I’ve gotta kick my ass in gear. I’ve got learning to do!
On that subject, I’ve been living in this world… ehhhh maybe not world. Mindspace? Whatever dude, from my perspective, I’ve always assumed that everyone else is smarter or knows more than I do on something. Or whatever skills I do have, that others have them too and do it better. I don’t need to be the best at everything/anything. But I’ve been shat on my whole life. Don’t take this as a rhapsody of the trials and tribulations of being me. “Oh boohoo poor me, nothing good happens to me,” it’s simply not like that.
It’s an experience anxious people like myself go through. They should call me the million dollar girl, because I’ve had to deconstruct myself only to completely rebuild my mental landscape. I grew up with the kids that were taught “everyone is special”. This mindset eventually developed into the cobweb of fuckery that teaches kids that everybody wins.
Your mileage may vary, however from my experience, it created egotistical people. People that would shit on everyone around them for not being the best. It’s strange for me because this set of values drive me to find “the best” products and methods. But it also taught me to shit on others’ ideas, opinions, business etc… Then again I only did that because I experienced the same day after day. It’s my fault for being too weak to identify bullies, but when you’re a kid that kind of information isn’t profoundly obvious. At the end of the day, I allowed the people around me to influence my choices and desires to reflect their own agenda. I stopped pursuing things because I saw others do better or thought that I can’t possibly do what they do. But I have skills, knowledge, and a sense of humor that makes me ME. And it is inherently valuable.
Maybe this is why it’s important to get out of your comfort zone. You realize that yeah, the world IS small, but it’s also incredibly diverse. Everyone has a place, don’t stop, keep pushing yourself, and have FUN with what you do.
So I had a lot of extra footage from our first shoot, some of it was too good to let go. I had so much fun making this video.
You can tell in the video that I’m incredibly tired, particularly my stuttering of dumb words. Speed Dating woke me up though! It was impossible to read and it moved WAY TOO fast.
If you like this video, please share it with a video game nerd you love.
Thank you for watching and for your continued support.
SeaWorld is getting REALLY desperate with their new Tilly the clown marketing campaign…
Shitty joke? Maybe, but it’s hard to take this stuff seriously when there’s lots of talk of Tilikum and animal rights but no one seems to be able to MOVE about it. Until then, SeaWorld continues to capitalize off of animals’ suffering.
Here at CC, we’ve had an insane year. Absolute. Fucking. Insanity. It’s been terrifying, but overall a good thing.
The world is an enormous, incredibly rotten place full of ugly ideologies and pain. This is nothing new for us! But how does this reality not break us down and grind us to a complete hault? Somewhere in there lies hope in all of that ugliness.
We all hope that someone will smile back at us, that our Facebook status gets more likes, that we get more Twitter followers, that injustice will end, that we find someone or something to love and dedicate our lives to.
People strive for perfection. But in a world like this, life is inherently imperfect. I find the people that can laugh in the face of the ugliness of the world and our very flawed human nature the most inspiring. Creative people inspire me because they create, change, and laugh despite the world crumbling around them. We lost some amazing people this year that celebrated exactly that: Maya Angelou, Joan Rivers, and Robin Williams to name a few.
I lost a hero this year in Robin Williams’ death. He inspired me from a young age to live life with a certain sparkle. A flick of the wrist, perhaps.
This summer, when we learned of his passing, we happened to be in Los Angeles. I was waiting and HOPING to hear from my estranged father whom I’d never met before. My insides were ripping me apart with stress and sadness. We did the only thing that made sense and headed straight to Hollywood. I was so happy that we got to see Robin’s star!
Robin Williams’ Star in Hollywood
Robin Williams taught me to live the way I wanted to and to celebrate our nature. In What Dreams May Come completely broke me as an adolescent. But it taught me to keep pushing.
Hope comes from great people. This year, I found that I’m surrounded by great people. We ran and organized a donation drive for a family in crisis and neighbors, family, coworkers, friends, and complete strangers all stood up and donated thousands of dollars worth of baby gear and gifts to this family.
Only SOME of the donations from our drive. YOU are my heroes!!
We are capable of being the best versions of ourselves. So go for it and do what YOU want to the best of your ability. And for 2015, I only wish for you to share a smile, give your time, and pet an ugly puppy.
I promised myself I wouldn’t make a huge post, whoops, really I just wanted to thank you for your support. Let’s keep things weird in 2015.
Much love,
Mo.
P.S. I got some belieber hate after the super dumb gif I made. LOL. It got me thinking and now I’ve got a massive post about the Biebs coming up that really shows of his good side.
I’d love to hear from you. Follow me on Twitter @oldfatmonica if you want more fuckery.
D’AWW look at the baby. Yo, Frenchie… Get over here so I can *boop* you!
I love these little munchies! They’re called French Bulldogs, and were created in the 1860’s by English lace workers who crossbred ratters and English Bulldogs. Their intent was to make the companionship of a bulldog more conveniently sized for dense urban living. Remember, this is the era where dog breeding became a “lady’s sport”, as a result, you start seeing people breeding for superficial features (i.e. Boston Terriers, etc).
Well, it’s all in the recipe, isn’t it? Drank your drank.
If one were to imagine ratters of yesteryear, you can guarantee that they have a HIGH prey drive, strong drive to continuously pursue their target, and have lots of energy.
Ok, so let’s smash that together with a Bulldog. It’s hard to say what exactly happened with English Bulldogs historically. We see references to them as far back as the 1500’s. But are they referring to a breed? Or perhaps a dog that they deemed appropriate for bull baiting? Bull baiting hit its peak in the early 1800’s but was outlawed in 1835 [ASIDE] this practice is fucked beyond all measure, we’ll have to cover it another time [/ASIDE]. People tried to get them to start fighting each other; luckily, their dog-to-dog aggression didn’t make them great dog fighters. Now a dog without a cause, the breed’s popularity plummeted. By all rights, the breed should have gone extinct, however it had gained many ardent admirers.
(L) Bulldog from 1790’s (R) Bulldog from 1890’s
Big change in 100 years! They’re great looking, functional dogs, but they are already well on their way towards the adorable broken meatlumps of today. In the 1800’s bulldogs were bred for high drive, high pain tolerance, and never standing down in a fight.
TADA, the French Bulldog comes out a real champ as the happy medium! He’s a big dog in a little dog suit. With a tempered energy level and behavioral intensity, he has a winning, clownish personality. Frenchie thinks he’s hot shit…
Oh Frenchie, you are so fly. I want to hug that minibeast until it’s eyeballs pop. But, why’s the puppy on it’s back? Does that dog’s scientific classification put him in the Testudines class? He sure don’t LOOK like no turtle. So why you gotta play him like one? Shiiiit – turtles have built-in defense mechanisms for when they’re flipped over! But our friend TurtleDog™, he uhhhh… he can’t seem to get it. Heh, hey… good thing there’s a loving owner there to flip that baby over, right? OMG, the video cuts out before I find out, someone tell me he’s ok! Everyone knows that these dogs can barely breathe while standing, let alone at such a young age with their worlds all flipped-turned upside down. Right?! Everyone knows that?! You can hear the puppy uncomfortably groaning at the end, OH NO! HALP. Goddamn it, THIS is why we can’t have nice things! Frenchie don’t play like that. Bitch, do I look like a turtle?
No, but you kinda look like a piglet ❤ ❤
Here’s an idea, I’ll hold your fresh-out-the-womb baby over the edge of a balcony just for funsies. WEEEE – Oh, you mean some deranged mental patient already did that?
Michael Jackson giving zero fucks. “LOOK MA, I MAED DIS.” -MJ (2010)
I’m sure that went over just fine.
[ASIDE] We all love to torture our animals in small ways. Putting a blanket over their heads, hiding their toys, dressing them up, holding them like babies, it’s fun! For me, the distinction is when a person understands that the animal is uncomfortable, but can respect that they’re tolerant of the behavior. On the other hand, a person could have zero care that the animal is uncomfortable, so long as they get their way and snap a shitty picture/video. [/ASIDE]
Unfortunately, French Bulldogs did not come without the English Bulldog’s many, many health issues. To begin with, our nomenclature already tells you you’re in seriously deep trouble. This breed falls into a category of dogs that are described as “chondrodystrophoid breeds”. It basically describes them as a set group of dogs that are supposed to, according to breed standards, experience dwarfism (Dachshunds, Corgis, etc). Don’t get me wrong on this, dwarfism is fine and occurs naturally ALL of the time. But this is wide-scale, systemic dwarfism – meaning that there is simply not enough genetic diversity to get healthy, non stunted growth in their limbs. In humans, dwarfism comes with susceptibility to a host of associated conditions. In dogs, you will most commonly see this group of dogs affected by intervertebral disk disease. “According to the Canine Inherited Disease Database, disc herniation occurs at a relatively young age (3 to 6 years) in affected breeds” (read full .pdf).
Butt weight, there’s more! Over 80% of Frenchies, much like their Bulldog father-cousins, can only have assisted-births — That’s right, cesarean section for dogs. They’re very prone to several skin issues including allergies, as well as Von Willebrand’s Disease, which means their blood can’t clot well. There are a lot I’m choosing to skip, but then there’s the breathing problems…
This one’s a dealbreaker for me, I can’t do it…
Their smashed skulls cause their nostrils and windpipe to be too small for sufficient airflow. Because of an elongated soft palate, hyperventilation and hot temperatures can result in swollen tissue in the throat which constricts airways even more. Needless to say, breathing takes a lot of work for these poor dogs.
When too much excitement on a warm day can easily send these meatballs straight into the throes of heat stroke, it got me thinking! I have a theory that these bulldog-type dogs are so “mellow” because they’ve been forced to self-condition. For example, a dog may learn to practice avoidance techniques with other dogs because whenever he’s interacted with other dogs in the past, they start to play A LOT. When the play is this intense, the feeling of shortness of breath can become overwhelming and cause high levels of stress. As we saw above, there are some high energy and drive traits in this breed. If they can’t breathe and expel their mental energy somehow, their frustrations can manifest themselves as anxiety and behavioral issues.
These dogs really can’t catch a break. French Bulldogs are one of the most susceptible to pulmonic stenosis (low out-flow of blood from the heart). Because of this disease, oxygenating tissue is more difficult. These underlying factors can cause the dog to be lethargic, weak, and exercise intolerant. Pulmonic stenosis is an inherited heart disease which is the cause of heart failure in many Frenchies. Want to have it treated? NO PROBLEM. Balloon valvuloplasty is a (potentially) corrective surgery that can cost you between $5,000 – $10,000. Drug therapy is much more cost efficient, unfortunately, the cost of diagnosis can be impossible for some. Echocardiograms may cost as much as $500-$600 while angiograms may cost $500-$1,000 or more.
So you spent $3,000 on this delectable morsel of puppy only to have it completely fall apart. Somebody call GM, and ask them what happened when people realized they’ve been hoodwinked into buying your shitty product.
By the way… That puppy lived! Check it out.
Chai the Japanese Frenchie is now 5 years old, the previous video was from 2009. This Japanese family is bonkers about their dogs. Unfortunately, they haven’t had the best of luck. Sadly, Chai’s mother, Flour died this year at the age of 6 due to complications from aspiration pneumonia. Another victim of the narrow airway and soft palate. Chai hasn’t had it easy either. In the video, he seems like a very happy, well cared for dog and he plays appropriately with his kitty pal. But superficially speaking, we already have some big concerns. At rest, he can be heard choking on his soft palate with close to ZERO physical exertion or heat, you can see this in ALL of their videos. The airways of both dogs are severely impaired. If you look at Chai’s paws, there are brown saliva stains which indicate overgrooming on his paws; these stains are associated with a number of conditions. This year alone, he survived bloat (incredibly deadly stomach torsion), and soon after Flour died, he had soft palate reduction surgery to improve his breathing. Keep in mind this dog is 5 years old! Genetically speaking, we’re not talking the cream of the crop. Well, I got some news for you… These folks bred French Bulldogs! I’m happy to report that they gave it up this year and had Chai neutered during his soft palate surgery (I guess Flour’s death had a huge impact on the owners). They haven’t posted anything since July 2014, I wonder where he is now.
It’s great these folks made the right decision, but so many people are driven by the demand for these dogs and will continue to breed regardless. Ain’t that some shit?
Tell me your experience!
What do you think of selective breeding for behavioral/purpose-driven traits rather than superficial features?
CuteCrunch 